What is a good Relationship/Friendship?

With certain couples it is clear there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection. Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you might look at these couples and attribute it all to chemistry or destiny. But it turns out that people in great relationships live by a few basic rules and they make these rules a priority in their day-to-day lives together. 

Forget what you see in the movies or on television. In other words, real relationships aren’t anything like what you see in the movies full of non-stop romance, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations. Trust me I know.  I had my fair share of looser and fix me up guys in my life.  I have to give my brother credit because he really try to live that life of romancing the hoe's. lol

Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. Great relationships just don’t happen because two people love each very much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time into the relationship.  Love is a two way street that should never get changed into a one way street.  If your getting love and don't know how to love back.  You need to open up and trust that your love will be accepted with open arms.  

Couples and friends in positive relationships have a fundamental understanding of the proper and appropriate expectations for a stable and long-lasting relationship. They understand that not all days will be full or passion and romance. Similarly, they understand that rough spots in a relationship may only be temporary if good communication is present to work through these times.

A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited with the very high “highs” or too concerned with the very low “lows.” Both are momentary at best, and will not define the true nature and scope of the relationship over a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you will be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality and sustainable relationship for many years to come.  Just keep in mind you have to be open for change, because what your use to is not working and the future is right in front of your face.

My work out week

It’s the first week in June already! What can I say? Time flies!

Last week I was pumped to drop 2.6 pounds after going out every day for a week straight. PUMPED! I got back to the gym and worked out with my personal trainer Charles. What a workout it was! He pulled out all the big guns!  And like any good man he knows how to keep our relationship fresh lol he pulled out the floor latter which I had to jump in and out of while doing bicep curls with 10 pounds weight, some new ab workouts, as well as some crazy BOSU ball push up and lifts I aint never seen’t before! All good stuff! I also ran on the treadmill like without stopping. I mean I know that’s not a big deal for some people but I usually walk and job lightly but I ran the whole time and I felt GOOD! Needless to say I am still sore like 3 days later! LOL To my credit I also stayed for his Chizel It class which is a combo on weights and cardio. So I got a good 2.5 hours in and I aint mad!

Mr. Nice Guy..What's your secret?

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.  They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one. Are you this type of person?

                                                                      Tiamia Owens

Finally made the ex history

Last night was like lifting the weight off my chest.  I finally removed the item that my ex left at my house.   I knew we were not getting back together, but for what ever reason I was holding onto some of his belongs.  Over the past week I have been taken control back over my life and making myself happy.  How long will it last?  I don't know but right now i'm living in the moment.  One of my brother friends told me last night that I need a No Contact Rule or NCR is what she call it.  No calling, emailing, faxing, message in a bottle, texting, communication by osmosis, Morse code, or anything. No contact means no contact. It is that simple. I will sit on my hands, tape my dialing fingers together, and reward myself for getting to milestones but do not contact him.  This morning I woke up and made a list of thing that I must control in order not to contact him:

When I'm hormonal,  horny, drunk, lonely, nostalgic, weak or in case of an emergency.  thats what close friends are for.  If  I react to any of these booby traps, I will not only end up regretting it, but I will have to start the whole process all over again, whilst he sits there thinking ‘ so she does still want me. Mmm, yeah I knew she would come around.’   I Instruct all that know both of us not to come to me with any information about him, unless he has ‘the clap’ or some other such STD that affects my health. I need to move on and forget about him, not be hearing out of context information where people make more out of something than actually exists.  No sex with him.  That is what my hitachi is for. No quick fumbles, slippery snogs, one last shag for old times sake, or any bodily contact. Ever and I mean Ever.  This is my first step of turning my life around.  Thank you to all the good friends that have been right there to support me when I was down in the dumps.

                                                                  Tiamia "Rookielove" Owens

My family reunion vacation & More

Let me start by saying, I am by no means an environmentalist. I drive a luxury automobile that takes high octane gas; I like to go to destinations where there are modern luxuries and built up towns. I typically book suites on cruise ships that take up way more space then I and my family really need. In addition to that.  When you and your family travel on a cruise vacation is there anything more annoying then other passengers who hog the various community property, such as lounge chairs or tables at the buffet?  Ah, not so fast grasshopper, maybe it is a blessing in disguise. Plus my crazy family is stuffing food away like it's a shortage on the ship.

I agree that it can sometimes be disheartening to finally get your food after a 30 or 40 minute wait in line to only find out that there is no where to be seated.  I must say that for the most part, after I load up my tray with all the tasty treats that have come steaming out of the kitchen, I really do not want to sit in a crowded restaurant, and have all of those Johnny come too late, dinners staring at me, or worse yet hovering over me at my table, while they try ever so hard to not seem like the obvious table vultures that they are, just waiting for me and my family to get up, where they can swoop down and claim the table for themselves.  

I still had to keep my cool because this was a family reunion cruise and I didn't want to show out in front of my nana.  Even though she was on the pool deck doing her version of the dougie with some guy who was not my grandfather.  Geesh!!!   This was the first cruise that I had ever been on where there was not one hot chick.  Maybe because it was the holiday...who knows.  When we docked in the Bahamas it was a culture shock for me.  I wanted to see the real island..not just the tourist section.

Beside everyone smoking weed and drinking.  It was sad to see kids pumping water out the ground to drink.  I gave a kid $5 and he gave me the biggest hug and pretty much followed me for the next 15 minutes.  I think the little dude copped a feel too.

I did something that my brother though was crazy.  I bought a house in the Bahamas.  Nothing big but I caled the number outside the house just to see it. The man that owned it lived five houses down and pretty much ran down to meet me.  I had a hard time understand what the heck he was showing me, but I did understand $10k asking price.  Like really?? Three bedrooms two baths and a large yard.  Lets get the deal done.  lol  I did get help from this fine young man from the U.S Embassy to make sure I was not getting ripped off and after a couple of hours.  The deal was done.

Every cruise has a bad side.  My brother ex girlfriend who is one of my best friends went with us on the cruise.  She is pretty much family in my book.  She has been that quiet girl from next door for many years.  Well on the cruise that all changed.  I found her in the hall way kissing my cousin and he pretty much had a firm grip on my ass in the process.  I was cool with it but my brother just so happen to be coming down the hall too.  Of course he got pissed but its crazy because they broke up like 10 years ago.  Get over it dude!  Plus he was hanging out with a chick who was a bachelorette and was getting married in a few days.  Between the lap dances she was giving him and taking shot off his nips.   I'm sure her husband to be got a winner.

I did take some time to sit back and look at myself.  I pretty much gave up on dating because it was becoming too much of a hassle.  It seem like today guys want to be too much like rappers and not fathers or businessmen.  I met this guy on the cruise that live down in Miami.  He wasnt the best looking guy, but he treated like a lady.  He just wanted to hang out and have fun.  That is when i realized what im missing in life.  A real man!  Not some guy i can fix up or some guy that only want sex.  trust me I have been around the block.  Guy aint showing me nothing new that I have not already seen.  That what makes me so hard to approach.  Just last night i was out food shopping.  i was approached by this man and his line was :  Excuse me do you know where the sugar is?  So i cut him off because he could finish that lame ass line.  I get emails from my other family (THC) members that are way out there.  I would never call them out but some of them I can tell why they are in the group.  With convos like your trying to have with me.  I understand why your single. That the type of crap that I have deal with.  But I know one day Mr. Right will come sweep me off my feet.  At this point I will continue to weed thru the BS.  

Why Women Cheat?

I had a friend of mine ask me last night why do women cheat.  His caught his girl with another guy about a week ago and was struggling with the fact she had to find what she was missing somewhere else.  I decided to share the information with everyone that I gave him.  Hopefully if your neglecting your women you can correct the issue before she cheat.  So my reasons are as follow:


Reason #1: There's no passion


Women love passion and most guys just want to jump into sex and fucking.  Some guys don't know where to began when it comes to passion. 


Reason #2: To delay a breakup


Sometime women are ready to pack our bags and go, but things happen.  It could be a family member is ill and a break up would be too hard on the guy. Cheating would be too, but you first must get caught.

Reason #3: We deserves better

We spend most of our free time taking care of you and making sure your happy.  In return we get nothing but some half ass credit for being your girl.  We as women deserve to be equal in the relationship and not treated as your child.

Reason #4: We looking for a missing piece

There will be time where we have to tell you over and over again that we are missing something.  Weather its a tell me you love me everyday or just give me a simple compliment.  If we have to keep telling you and Joe Blow comes into the picture and fills the void your making.  Then the math is quite simple.

Reason #5: To give him a taste of his own medicine

We know when your cheating or have cheated.  Some women just take it and keep it moving.  Then some women will say they forgive you and strike back when you least expected.  I know of a couple that when the boyfriend came home he found his girl that he was going to propose to.  In his bed riding another dude and when she got caught she didnt stop.  

Reason #6: There's something lacking in the physical department

Some women say they need a big dick, but the real women like me will take what you got to offer.  Lacking in the physical department is one reason women cheat and if your lacking....You better be one hell of a pussy & asshole eater.  That will void out reason number 6 anytime.

Reason #7: The Hitachi Magic Wand

I know ...I know...How can a sex toy make you cheat?  This toy is serious and if your sex or passion is not up to par.  This toy will have us looking for another guy or women that can give us the pleasure that this toy can give us.  (Side Note)  If your open to having toys in your relationship this gets 5 stars.  using this the right way with your girl..will make her love you long time...lmao

                                                                              

                                                       RookieLove

Dating Rookie Love

Ok first off let me begain by blaming Flying High for this horriable date I went on this past weekend.  She has been telling me for months that I need to open my eyes and see the true meaning of dating.  She also said to stop judging people by the book and give the common guy a chance.  So i took her advice because most of the time she give great advice, but this time was an epic fail.  Lower your standards she says....Crack the door for mr right she says.  FH this is what happen when I lowered my standerds.  Friday I went to the dentist to have my routine check up and cleaning.  As I''m sitting in the lobby this guy keeps moving around trying to get close to me everytime someone gets called to the back.  I see him the entire time look all goofy and stupid.  At this point I can tell he about 35 with a bunch of kids and divorced because he cheated on his ex wife with his ex girlfriend from high school.  Just guessing.  So we begain to talk and right away i want to punch this guy in the face and stomp on his chest with my boots on.  He was working ever bad line you could possiable think of, but after a while it was so bad that it became funny.  He asked me out to dinner Friday night.  Which I quickly said NO!  I mean before he could finish asking me out I said no.  But for 5 seconds I could hear the mini Flying High on my should dressed in all white saying Tiamia....give the man a date.  So I listend and told Keith ( Thats his name)  That I'm free for brunch of Saturday.  He said great because I'm free around 4pm also.  Fuck me but that Mini FH said Tiamia be nice and I told him how about 11am.  


So he gave me his info and asked for mine, but never got it. So brunch was here and we had a lot in common and  i was really enjoyed myself.  I'm think FH was right on the money.  First date out the gate and this guy is very nice, BUT then halfway through he tells me that he felt that he had been done a huge disservice by having been circumcised.  Like WTF?  Out the blue he equated it to a woman having a breast removed!! I told him that it was not the same, because how could he miss something that he couldn't remember having? So he then tells me that he had done research on the internet of all places and had fashioned a contraption out of surgical tape & string that he secured to the skin of his ahem, member and taped the string to his leg. It kept continuous tension on the skin stretching it. He had created his own faux foreskin!!!!!!!! AND NO I DID NOT SEE IT!  he was dead serious about this and was talking loud.  I just got up and left and never looked back his way.  All i could hear him saying was wait...wait.  Thank you for that complete waste of time Flying High.  This time your advice was fucked.  

                                                        RookieLove