What is a good Relationship/Friendship?

With certain couples it is clear there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection. Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you might look at these couples and attribute it all to chemistry or destiny. But it turns out that people in great relationships live by a few basic rules and they make these rules a priority in their day-to-day lives together. 

Forget what you see in the movies or on television. In other words, real relationships aren’t anything like what you see in the movies full of non-stop romance, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations. Trust me I know.  I had my fair share of looser and fix me up guys in my life.  I have to give my brother credit because he really try to live that life of romancing the hoe's. lol

Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. Great relationships just don’t happen because two people love each very much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time into the relationship.  Love is a two way street that should never get changed into a one way street.  If your getting love and don't know how to love back.  You need to open up and trust that your love will be accepted with open arms.  

Couples and friends in positive relationships have a fundamental understanding of the proper and appropriate expectations for a stable and long-lasting relationship. They understand that not all days will be full or passion and romance. Similarly, they understand that rough spots in a relationship may only be temporary if good communication is present to work through these times.

A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited with the very high “highs” or too concerned with the very low “lows.” Both are momentary at best, and will not define the true nature and scope of the relationship over a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you will be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality and sustainable relationship for many years to come.  Just keep in mind you have to be open for change, because what your use to is not working and the future is right in front of your face.

My work out week

It’s the first week in June already! What can I say? Time flies!

Last week I was pumped to drop 2.6 pounds after going out every day for a week straight. PUMPED! I got back to the gym and worked out with my personal trainer Charles. What a workout it was! He pulled out all the big guns!  And like any good man he knows how to keep our relationship fresh lol he pulled out the floor latter which I had to jump in and out of while doing bicep curls with 10 pounds weight, some new ab workouts, as well as some crazy BOSU ball push up and lifts I aint never seen’t before! All good stuff! I also ran on the treadmill like without stopping. I mean I know that’s not a big deal for some people but I usually walk and job lightly but I ran the whole time and I felt GOOD! Needless to say I am still sore like 3 days later! LOL To my credit I also stayed for his Chizel It class which is a combo on weights and cardio. So I got a good 2.5 hours in and I aint mad!

Mr. Nice Guy..What's your secret?

What's wrong with Nice Guys? The biggest problem is that most Nice Guys are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simply pleasure of giving. You never know if a Nice Guy really likes you for who you are, or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.
Nice Guys exude insecurity a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life...

Self-confident, caring, decent-hearted women find "Nice Guys" to be too clingy, self-abasing, and insecure.
Nice Guys go overboard. They bring roses to a "lets get together for coffee" date. They try to buy her affections with presents and fancy things. They think they know about romance, but their timing is all wrong, and they either come-on too strong, too hard and too fast, OR, they are so shy and unassertive, that they hang around pretending to be "friends", in the hope that somehow, someway, they will get the courage up to ask her out for a "date".

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.  They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him.

Nice Guys are always asking HER to make the decisions. They think it's being equitable, but it puts an unfair burden of responsibility on her, and gives him the opportunity to blame her if the decision was an unwise one. Are you this type of person?

                                                                      Tiamia Owens

Finally made the ex history

Last night was like lifting the weight off my chest.  I finally removed the item that my ex left at my house.   I knew we were not getting back together, but for what ever reason I was holding onto some of his belongs.  Over the past week I have been taken control back over my life and making myself happy.  How long will it last?  I don't know but right now i'm living in the moment.  One of my brother friends told me last night that I need a No Contact Rule or NCR is what she call it.  No calling, emailing, faxing, message in a bottle, texting, communication by osmosis, Morse code, or anything. No contact means no contact. It is that simple. I will sit on my hands, tape my dialing fingers together, and reward myself for getting to milestones but do not contact him.  This morning I woke up and made a list of thing that I must control in order not to contact him:

When I'm hormonal,  horny, drunk, lonely, nostalgic, weak or in case of an emergency.  thats what close friends are for.  If  I react to any of these booby traps, I will not only end up regretting it, but I will have to start the whole process all over again, whilst he sits there thinking ‘ so she does still want me. Mmm, yeah I knew she would come around.’   I Instruct all that know both of us not to come to me with any information about him, unless he has ‘the clap’ or some other such STD that affects my health. I need to move on and forget about him, not be hearing out of context information where people make more out of something than actually exists.  No sex with him.  That is what my hitachi is for. No quick fumbles, slippery snogs, one last shag for old times sake, or any bodily contact. Ever and I mean Ever.  This is my first step of turning my life around.  Thank you to all the good friends that have been right there to support me when I was down in the dumps.

                                                                  Tiamia "Rookielove" Owens